Sunday, April 08, 2012

Post-wedding funk?

I'm not sure what's going on with me at the moment, but I've lost my mojo. No, not that kind of mojo, but my enthusiasm for pretty much everything. I just feel so blah, so bored, so boring! I don't feel like talking to my friends, I don't feel like going anywhere, I'm on the verge of tears at any given moment for no obvious reason and I really don't like it! Maybe it's the post-wedding funk? Maybe it's that I'm still recovering from pneumonia and am tired of feeling so tired? Maybe it's that now that I have time, lots of time, it's too confronting as I can't think of how to spend it?

I got my wedding photos in the post on Thursday, something I have been looking forward to SO much, and I'm actually gutted. I had built up big expectations for the photo's, they were one of my very biggest priorities when it came to the planning and budgeting for my wedding, and they have not met my expectations. I'm disappointed, and I don't know how to deal with it. Part of my disappointment is the way I look in some pics and part of it is not liking the way many of the pictures have been taken/edited. This has lead to me thinking about other things that didn't go quite how I would have liked.

I know I ought not to have this negative perspective. I know I should be grateful for my life. But for whatever reason, right now I just don't feel good. And knowing I shouldn't feel this way just makes me feel worse. K knows I'm not feeing right and he wants to help, but I don't know what to tell him. Right now, I'm just a sad daisy.

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