The reward is worth the risk!

What holds you back from saying how you really feel? 

From doing what you really want?

Bucket lists are pretty trendy these days - most people I know seem to have one, in their mind at least. The trick (challenge) seems to be taking that list and turning it into action.  The more I travel this physical/mental/emotional journey to health, the more I realise who I am, and what I really want from my life.  Some of the things on my list seem so scary that to share them seems too much of a risk, and yet when I think of doing them I feel so moved, so excited, so ME.

One of the things on my list is to sing.  I have always had a fairly good singing voice, certainly I can sing confidently at Mainly Music and enjoy a good Sing Star session.  But I want more!  A couple of birthdays ago my wonderful friend took me to see 'Mama Mia'.  It was beyond awesome!  And as I sat there all I could think was how awesome their job was, and how I longed to be part of it.  Then my horrible toad of an inner voice reminded me, 'you're not good enough, and besides which, you're too fat'.  And that's how it has been for me for so long.  Now I'm no dreamer, I'm not the next Adele, and in truth that's not what I want to be.  But I love to sing, it stirs my soul, and I want to be part of something musical.  And I will, because even if I suck, I AM good enough to try, and the reward feels so worth the risk!!

And just for the record, my favourite Mama Mia song?....

'Does Your Mother Know?'

The Attitude of Gratitude

What if you woke up tomorrow and the only things you had

were the things you were thankful for today?

Gratitude is so very important!  Given that your focus determines your reality, paying attention to what you ALREADY HAVE makes life so much better, and before you know it, so many amazing things start happening in your life it's hard to keep track of them all!  I've always been an Oprah Winfrey fan, she's pretty much my only 'role model'. She taught me about gratitude a long time ago, but it's only relatively recently that I have started to really understand. 

Today I am grateful for....

• Mr K, my fiance, who loves me without limit, supports me no matter what, and helps me feel the luckiest and happiest I can be
• My best friend of 13 years V, for being the practical/organised one, for helping me with my wedding plans, for organising me a hens night (tomorrow!) and for just being a wonderful friend who has knows pretty much everything there is to know about me
• My in-laws (though technically the ex-in laws) for babysitting later today
• Finding a new makeup artist who is available to do my makeup trial tomorrow
• Living in such an amazing place as New Zealand, not too far from the beautiful ocean
• Having the internet so I can connect
• My raw mentors who have given me the gift of health
• Our three beautiful, amazing children
• Tomato, avocado, red onions and balsamic vinegar because they are just so delicious

There's so much more to be grateful for, but that's what occurs to me right now. 

Have you thought about what you're grateful for today?

What people ask me...

The most asked question when I tell people I am eating raw is, 'If you don't eat dairy, grains, meat, or processed foods, what DO you eat??'  The answer is that right now I eat:

• a wide variety of raw fruit and vegetables, as much as possible of which is organic, some of which I blend into smoothies and add high nutrient foods like kelp and barley grass
• a small amount (less than 10%) of other foods like soaked or boiled chic peas, wild rice, cooked vegetables like potatoes, organic brown rice wafers, free range eggs
• an even smaller amount of lightly cooked fish (ie once a week at most)
• a multivitamin/mineral supplement daily

This is usually very closely followed by a concerned 'but where do you get your protein?'  I could attempt to answer in my own words, but I'm really not the expert, so I've copied the following from www.rawfoods.com:

"Where do raw and living foodist get their protein?
The WHO (World Health Organization) says humans need about 5% of their daily calories to come from protein to be healthy. The USDA puts this figure at 6.5%. On average, fruits have about 5% of their calories from protein. Vegetables have from 20-50% of their calories from protein. Sprouted seeds, beans, and grains contain from 10-25% of their calories from protein. So if you are eating any variety of living plant foods, you are getting more than adequate protein.

Numerous scientific studies have shown the daily need for protein to be about 25-35 grams per day. So if you ate 2,000 calories per day, and ate raw plant foods that had an average of 10% of their calories from protein, you would get 200 calories worth of protein, or 50 grams. This is more than adequate to support optimal well-being. Other studies have shown that heat treating a protein (such as with cooking) makes about half of it unusable to the human body. So raw plant food protein is even a better source than cooked plant foods or animal foods.

There is still a huge, foolish, misguided idea that plant protein is not "complete". This is based on studies done on rats in the 1940's. This false conclusion was drawn before we discovered the bodies protein recycling mechanism and its ability to "complete" any amino acid mix from our bodies amino acid pool, no matter what the amino acid composition of a meal consumed. This false idea is still perpetuated by the meat and dairy industries, in an attempt to influence people to continue consuming their truly health destroying products".


I'm no scientist, nor a researcher, so all can base my opinion on is my own personal experience.  That experience is, that in the last 4 weeks of eating raw, as described above, I have never felt better in my life.  I have lost approx 6kg (probably more, but I don't have scales), I have more energy than I ever have even when I was much slimmer, I spring out of bed in the morning, my mind clarity is amazing, I no longer take anti-depressants, I need less sleep, my appetite is a fraction of what it used to be, and my passion for life is at an all time high.

Well what do you know, I'm a dancer!

Ok, I'm not actually a dancer, but what I mean is, I bloomin' well like dancing!  Tonight I went to my first Zumba class.  Technically it was my second, but the first one was at the gym and that place holds bad memories so it doesn't count.  So, Zumba, in case you haven't tried it, is bloody awesome!  It was pretty mentally taxing trying to figure out the moves but the 'new' me can handle challenges! I moved my body in ways I've only seen in hip hop videos, and stuff wobbled that I usually try vey hard to prevent from wobbling, but boy was it FUN!  I'll be back again for sure, for sure!! My ten year old is going to be VERY pleased, I now think our household could use a WII after all!

Three-week-aversary!

Today marks three weeks of me feeling more alive than ever before.  Three weeks of not putting anything in my mouth that doesn't eactly or very, very closely resemble its original state.  When I think about prosessed foods now I feel a bit ill.  I've had lots of opportunities to 'treat'myself the way I used to, with high calorie, low nutrition foods, but I haven't done so and don't intend to.  I'm feeling so comfortable in my own skin now, and my entire focus has shifted away from my body fat to how much I really do love my life.
Fun n Fitness Cap round two starts today and rather than feeling nervous, anxious and inecure, I feel excited about the opportunities I will have, the challenges I will face, and the people who'll be there to share the next 12 weeks with.  Unbelievably I am looking forward to my weigh & measure, because I know it just represents one point in time.  It doesn't define me, it's just a snapshot of now, of how far I have come and how much I have achieved.

I used to be someone with very little self belief and full of self criticsm, and I am so much less like that now. Several people who have read my blog have told me it is an inspiration to them, and that's the best feeling in the world. Connecting with others is really important to me, and to think that someone could be motivated and inspired by me makes me feel so proud of myself.  And the exciting thing is that having made the changes I have, I know that anyone can do this, because I am no different than them, other than having been given some amazing information about how to best care for my body, and having a few people believe in me so deeply that I challenged my long held beliefs about what I am capable of.

Tog shopping

Tog shopping - pretty much a fat persons worst type of shopping!  In fact, pretty much most women's least favourite shopping trip. Today I went shopping for a bathing suit for our honeymoon in Rarotonga.  Last time I shopped for togs was over a year ago, and I was quite happy(ish) with my size 20 tankini top and size XXL board shorts.  So today I grabbed a size 16 tankini, thinking a girl's gotta dream, and it was too big!!  Seems my tog top size is a 14!  I didn't find anything that had a big enough bust in the cheap stores (Shanton & Ezibuy) because seemingly the manufacturers think size 14 women only have b cup breasts?  Anyway, the big news is what I did next.  I went to a real surf/togs/beachware store, to Northbeach, Albany.  You know the type of store, where the staff are all hot 20 year old surf babes, the sort of place I so totally don't belong, the sort of store I would never go in for fear that someone may think, or worse - say, that I can't wear the clothes they sell because I'm too big!
It was awesome!  The fabulously wonderful sales assistant who helped me was so friendly, so helpful, and I so didn't feel self concious! She grabbed a few styles for me, and left me to it.  The first one I tried on was hillarious, I laughed out loud, big time! Let's just say it made me look like Dolly Parton's long lost sister!  But it fit.  It was a size 14, and it fit. Me. The next one was gorgeous!  It contained my bust, was so comfortable, and suited me really well.  I didn't think much about the bottom half of me, being a pear shape means my top half is my best half, but I felt a million bucks in that tankini.  I didn't feel embarrassed, or insecure, or unattractive, I felt awesome!  It was only when I was leaving, having decided the tog buying would wait until just before the holiday, that I asked the price.  $225!  No, that's not a typo, $225 for half a bathing suit!  It didn't bring me down any though, I walked out of that store grinning like anything, because I can now go into a store, a normal, mainstream store, and I can feel pretty confident that there will be my size!